Yep, we’re bringing it out! The inner cynic gets to play today. You just need to listen to find out more. Or read the transcript. OOPS – spoiler alert – then you’ll know the whole thing and you won’t need to listen. Darn it! Why did I put that there?
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome back, my fellow skeptics and eye-rollers! You’ve somehow made it to Episode 3 of “Snarky Meditation for Pessimists.” I’m Tokumei Snark, and I’m here to guide you through another unorthodox meditation session. Today, we’re embracing the inner cynic in all of us. Yes, you heard that right. Meditation for the doubtful and the disbelievers. Let’s get started, shall we?
First things first, let’s talk about why it’s totally okay to be doubtful about meditation. After all, sitting quietly and trying not to think of anything? Sounds like a setup for an impossible task, right? Today, we’re not fighting that skepticism. Oh no, we’re rolling with it.
Let’s explore how to use your skepticism as a tool rather than a barrier. Think of it as reverse psychology for your brain. You doubt it? Great, let’s use that doubt to our advantage. Let’s face it, you’re like this because things have happened. No need to think or talk about them, now we’re going to use those negative thoughts to bring us some serenity – yep! Irony is the word of the day.
Here are some mantras to focus on, pick on & think about it over the next 3 minutes: Say them over and over until your brain moves on to the next thing and pretty soon you’re thinking about how you used to want to be an astronaut and now you’re doing this crazy job you never knew existed.
OK – Pick one to think about
- I am as focused as a squirrel at a nut festival.”
- I am Floating on a cloud made of daydreams and bubble wrap.”
- And go!! Timer for 3 minutes
How did it go? Do you remember what your mantra was? No, I didn’t think so, but that’s ok. You’re trying, that’s all I ask, or not. It really doesn’t matter to me, as long as we’re together. Nope! That just sounded weird. What I meant is subscribe. Yep! That’s all I want from you. And money. Money helps pay the bills. You can go to snarkymeditation.com and click “buy me a coffee” and send me money. Or just tune in tomorrow, whatever.